Tuesday Tips: Just because you didn’t think of it first, doesn’t mean you can’t do it

Back in November, a friend called to tell me he was getting married to the wonderful woman he’d been dating. They’d set the date for May and they wanted me to officiate their wedding.

Who? Me? Officiate a wedding? How?

Which was kind of his response in 2003 when I asked HIM to officiate my wedding to Marshall.

“You’re the hostest with the mostest,” I think he said–or something along those lines. “You’re a wonderful orator. You’re our friend. We’d like to have you do it.”

So I said yes.

As the months progressed, we would talk about getting together to discuss the wedding. But we were all busy. As the date got closer, I became a little more concerned and wondered exactly what it was they wanted me to do.

And what should I wear? Kimberly, the bride, sent me copies of the dresses she and her attendants would be wearing: deep rich purples and turquoises. I got lucky and found the perfect dress at a thrift store–and it was brand new. At least I knew what I’d be wearing on this important day when everyone would be looking at me–and a most beautiful bride looking her very best and a handsome groom in tails!

A facebook friend commented about how much he appreciated the service at his recent wedding so I contacted him about what made it so good. When I told him they planned to give me a script, he encouraged me not only to guide them, but to actually do the service–and that I should be paid to do so.

Since these are good friends, I decided to offer to create their service as a wedding gift for them–and they accepted.

Last night, the bride, the groom and the bride’s mother came over to my house. I had wine, cheese, crackers, fruit and pate for us to snack on. For two hours, we discussed the wedding and how they wanted it. She wanted to include Native American traditions, African American traditions, and poetry, including poems by Maya Angelou and Pablo Neruda from a book I just bought; he wanted some Jewish traditions; her mom wanted some religion and Bible verses.

It seemed like a tall order.

But I knew I’d be able to do the research and use my experiences as a host and as a poet to create a moving and beautiful ceremony that would make the couple, their family, and their friends happy. They even encouraged me to include some of my own poetry or do something original for the day.

This would be a huge writing challenge and an exciting one so this week I’ll be busy preparing the service and myself to give it including getting deputized to perform it! I’ll let you know how it goes!

The lesson here is that just because you didn’t think it was part of the services you might offer, if someone asks you, consider whether or not you might be able to do the job. I might have just discovered a new career path for myself that integrates my writing gifts, my research abilities, and my skill at performance!

Tags: how to officiate a wedding, Pablo Neruda Mary Heebner "Intimacies"